5 things to do when others impose their stress on you

Working as a freelancer is great.

If it weren’t for the other people you have to work with. You see, as a freelancer you - in theory - can dictate your own hours. Early mornings, or late nights, whatever floats your boat and fits your current life and desires.

And sometimes your client or team workers have different ideas.

This week I got a message late one evening.

«Hi, do you have time right now to set up this seminar? The client is so excited to announce it!» Something felt off. I checked the information I had received. The seminar was scheduled for late November. So what’s the rush?

I declined and promised to set it up next morning.

And with that hell began.

I could not shake this message. It haunted me in my sleep, having me tossing and turning. At 3 am I woke with a massive headache. I managed to get back to sleep eventually, only to be tormented by nightmares.

The next morning I was unrested and didn’t feel like working at all.

But I had made a promise, so I gulped down coffee and set out to get this seminar up on the website. About 40 minutes in I realized that I was missing huge chunks of information. I bombarded my team worker with a million questions. She put those questions forward to the client.

While awaiting the reply I stepped away from everything and went to the sauna to clear my head.

The missing information trickled in again late that evening. By next morning it had changed completely and the seminar was reduced and transformed. Had I given in to my co-workers panic mode I would have wasted a lot of time. In the end it was easy to get it out there.

So what can you do when faced with a situation like this - when people try to dictate and control your day and time and you know something is off?

Tell them not right now and give them a deadline that works for you.

The thing is, when the project wants to be out in the world, you will know it. You will be excited and can’t wait to get your hands on to it. If that is not the case, buy yourself some time.

Ask questions

My favourites:

• Does this really need to be done right now?

• Can it wait?

• Do I have all the information I need?

• If yes, then what is going on here?

• If no, what questions do I need to send to the client to get all information?

The last one might require a bit of your time. Your subconscious mind is churning on the problem or challenge and you will notice more and more points of information that are missing.

Trust your intuition and resistance

There often is a reason for it when we don’t want to do something. Information might be missing, the timing might not be right. Trust your instincts.

Energetically detach from the person trying to urge you

I often sit down and imagine cutting all the strings that tie me to that person or that project.

You can also place them under a bell jar in your mind. This can be very effective.

In my case I even asked myself who was urging this project ahead. It was way more people than actually involved in the seminar. I isolated each of them under their bell jar and went on with my day.

It really helped and once I got them out of the way my headache started to cease.

Just because someone is working with you doesn’t mean they have your best interests in mind.

Usually it’s their best interest. They have an agenda that suits them. Bare this in mind and look if you can see what this agenda might be. What are they gaining from this?

Don’t let yourself be dragged into their game.

Otherwise you end up being a puppet not in charge of your own stress level.

xo, Yvonne

🖊️ This week's publications

🕯️Inspiration to go slow

Stargazing is an experience that will reduce stress. Sitting outside at night there isn’t much else to do than just watch the wonders above your head.

When you are living in a city where the lights are constantly on you will face a problem:  Light pollution will reduce the amount of stars you can spot.

But there is hope.

The Dark Sky Program has received applications from sites in 49 countries to become Dark Sky Areas where night skies can be experiences in the same way our ancestors did.

Here is a fascinating article about this project.